


Holiday Warfare

by Cottage_whore_xX



Category: StarKid Productions RPF, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Bullying, Christmas, Christmas Cookies, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Halloween, The Shining References, stupid nicknames
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25966117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cottage_whore_xX/pseuds/Cottage_whore_xX
Summary: Ted and Charlotte have totally separate passions and yet, they share one thing in common.the will to ruthlessly prank one another just to prove who is the superior holiday.
Relationships: Charlotte & Ted (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Charlotte/Ted (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	Holiday Warfare

Charlotte, albeit fairly religious, did like the flashier side of Christmas. She liked the Christmas trees, the gifts, the hallmark movies, the cuddling by the fire, the whole nine yards. Unfortunately, her boyfriend at the time, Sam, did not feel the same way at all. He genuinely despised most holidays, she would joke and call him a grinch, but that pissed him off more than anything. Charlotte would have made the house look like one of those fancy Christmas villages, but she knew Sam would hate it. The only reason Sam liked Halloween was because it would scare the hell out of Charlotte. He liked seeing her upset, which should have been a warning to Charlotte, but for some reason, it wasn’t. When it came to decorating for Christmas, Charlotte would go all out and nearly kill herself putting up lights on the roof, just to see the neighboring families smile at her elaborate decorations each year. So it came as a surprise to no one when she opened a small, year-round shop dedicated to her favorite holiday. It was quaint and tiny and covered in fake snow. She sold little homemade ornaments and snow globes, that people would buy religiously. It was a holiday staple for many.

...

Ted was the polar opposite, he liked Christmas, he thought it was a shameless cash grab, but he thought it was nice in a way. Out of all the holidays, Ted loved Halloween most. He didn’t know what it was about scaring the shit out of small children or watching people on TV meet their gruesome fate, but he thought it was the best thing in the world. He would purposely make sure his house was the scariest house on the block, ensuring that no kid would go near it for candy. If one kid did make it, he ensured them a hefty reward of a nice full-sized chocolate bar or shareable bag of candy, upon the kid’s request. When it came to candy, Ted wasn’t stingy and bought a variety of different treats for the kids and teens. The inside of Ted’s whole house looked like Spirit Halloween got sick and threw up on the inside. Rooms were themed after different movies, he accessorized with taxidermied spiders and bats, and to add to his decor he painted little blood splatters on the wall. So when there was an opening next to a dinky little Christmas store, Ted decided to put his passion for Halloween to good use.

...

Charlotte didn’t mind having a neighbor. She didn’t mind having someone next door to her. She was ready to great whoever this was with open arms and give them all the help she could offer. The second she saw that someone bought the lot next to her she got to work, baking a fresh batch of Christmas cookies, hoping her next-door neighbor felt the same way as her. She did this for everyone, regardless of how they felt about her. Only thing was, Charlotte, to fool the children that would come into her store, was always dressed as an elf, she would give kids candy canes, and take messages to ‘Santa’ (Santa was just a wall in the back room, she thought the little notes were so funny and cute). She didn’t know what this new mystery neighbor was like, but she was excited to possibly have a new friend to watch Christmas movies with and bake cookies with.

...

When the day came for Charlotte’s neighbor to move in, she got to work extra early, mostly to fix up her shop, but mainly to get ready to greet a new friend. She waited outside her shop for the trucks to come, first came the moving trucks, then the shitty, rundown, car containing one sleazy douchebag. He took his sunglasses off, then, as if he were the villain of some children’s Halloween movie he removed the lollipop from his mouth with a pop. He walked forward along the sidewalk, taking one glance at Charlotte’s little Christmas shop, snarling, then walking inside his own shop to get to work on his greatest achievement. Charlotte followed him into his store, still carrying her tray of Christmas cookies, baked just for him. She knocked on the drywall, alerting him that she was here. Charlotte was (per usual) dressed as an elf, even going as far as to have her own, cheaply made little elf ears and “Santa’s Helper” apron that was made with all the love she could give. The tall, Jack Skellington-esque man turned, giving Charlotte a closer look at his outfit. There, standing before her, was a tall, lanky, noodle man, clad in a horror movie graphic t-shirt, it was some movie Sam forced Charlotte to watch, she couldn’t remember anything from it other than how that man, Jack reminded her of Sam in a way. Over his shirt was a cheesy button-down shirt that looked to be merchandise for something called the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, yet another film Charlotte might have known but didn’t realize. The man wore black, torn up jeans that looked to be through hell and back, socks with spiderwebs on them and brown dress shoes. Charlotte hated to succumb to the idea of ever hanging around someone who liked Halloween, but here she was, possibly falling in love with this lanky, noodle-man. The man snarled, noticing that she was in awe, he blew out a huff of air before saying his first words to her.

“What are you staring at?” His voice cut through the silence like Jigsaw hacked up his victims (she doesn’t know, she really doesn’t like horror movies…) it was smooth, yet gruff and piercing. He pulled the lollipop out of his mouth once again. “Something catch your eye, Tinkerbell?” he chuckled, nearly turning back around until Charlotte stopped her fantasizing and finally spoke up.

“I don’t know you yet, but I thought I’d welcome you to the neighborhood with some cookies?” she handed the tray to him. “I make them allergy-free, so, no gluten, dairy, or nuts!” She smiled.

“Geeze, what do you put in them then?” he grabbed one of the mittens, inspecting it.

“Lots of love, for starters…” she smiled wider, setting the tray down on one of the boxes near him.

“No human remains or something?” Charlotte looked as if she would pass out from such a simple question, he just laughed in her face as she scrambled to answer his question.

“Goodness no! I would never!” Ted wanted to hit her where it hurt, taking a bite of her cookie, and despite how heavenly it tasted, acting like it was the worst thing he had ever put in his mouth.

“Well, maybe you should start… I could hook you up with a nice barber on Fleet Street?” He gave her a shit-eating grin, not expecting her to know anything about Sweeney Todd, taking another bite of the cookie. “Of course, I don’t think someone like you would do too well with the type of pies they sell around there.” He joked, laughing at a fuming Charlotte. “What’d you say your name was again, sugar-plum?” Charlotte, now red-faced and humiliated, spitefully stuck her hand out.

“Charlotte.” She spat, going back to her familiar insulted pout.

“Aw, I thought Santa didn’t like it when little girls pout?” He chuckled once again, shaking her hand. “Name’s Ted, pleased to meet you.” She rolled her eyes, tugging her hand away.

“Charmed as well.” Ted acted fake insulted.

“Now, is that any way for one of Santa’s helpers to go treat someone?” Charlotte wanted to have the last word, she had faith in herself, but to no avail.

“Please, like you know the first thing about how to treat someone.” That shit-eating grin returned to Ted’s face.

“Oo, feisty. Looks like miss sugar-plum has some spice to her?” he started unboxing some of his decorations that were shipped over from a previous store. “Hey, why don’t you be a doll and go back to the North Pole for me, eh? Let the big boy set up his store then you can come back. Okay?” Charlotte, who was now fuming with rage and completely embarrassed up and left, leaving Ted to unbox. Within mere hours Ted finished the tray of cookies, personally acknowledging that it was the best homemade sugar cookies he had ever had. He couldn’t get the thought of that little elf girl with her candy cane striped tights, those stupid pointy shoes, her green sweater dress, and worst of all those little elf ears that just suited her so well. He had finished decorating, excited to scare the everloving shit out of Charlotte the next day.

...

Charlotte returned to her store, in a fuming rage, telling everyone about the rude man just next door to her and his Halloween hell-hole, making people just want to see him more. The anticipation around the opening of Ted’s Halloween Hell (as charlotte called it) had become such a big thing that there was talk around town about this new, mystery man and his murder store right next to Charlottes Christmas shop. Charlotte couldn’t wait to see him again, studying up on her Christmas themed insults to finally come back at him and finally have the last word. But she would have to wait until tomorrow.


End file.
